November 20, 2012

Habis madu sepah dibuang

Not a decent feeling to be left behind. Have you ever felt it? If you have, you know how hurtful it is.

So why do people do it? Why people leave behind other people? Are they appreciating each other enough? Are they thinking about other people's feelings?

Speaking for myself, I'm always left behind. From whom? From people quite close to me. My friends. Is it because of me? Or is it because of them? Am I not doing enough to be appreciated by you guys? I never leave people out. No matter what they've done to me, I never did it. Because I hate the feeling, so why should I do it to other people? Isn't that a wrong thing to do? Am I not appreciative enough? Or are you guys not appreciative enough? No one knows the answer. Because the answers will never be the same.

Why people do it? Because they're selfish. They only think of themselves. They don't care about what others feel. Because everyone wants to be happy, sometimes only for themselves.

Recent events made me think of a question I can never answer, "how well do we know our friends?". A dear friend of mine told me, "the more you know your friends, the more you don't know them". I guess that's quite true. The more we see what others do to us, the more we think about why they do it. Knowing something is not always a good thing. It makes you think, see people differently. Especially when the thing you found out, isn't exactly what you would like. And especially when it is from someone you trusted. It is indeed a difficult thing to put trust on someone. Maybe I made a mistake in choosing the person I trust. Maybe I trusted too much.

I'm used to it, being left behind. The first stage is always the most painful. But time always heals everything. Sadly, healing isn't enough. Wounds will always leave scars. Things will never be the same. Everything will be different.

That's all from me for tonight, a sleepless night.

Thank you for reading. Assalamualaikum.