November 29, 2011

Impian

Impian. Ape yg kita idamkan. Ape yg kita nak. Ape yg kita nak jadikan kenyataan.

Aku, kalau boleh nk dia sentiasa senang. Sentiasa xde mslh. Sentiase dipermudahkan urusan dia. Tu doa aku utk dia. Aku impikan bnde2 tu semua. Lagi2 kalau ade aku. Aku nk aku jd penyelesai mslh dia. Aku xnk dia susah, kusut, pening2. Kalau boleh nk dia happy je. Senang je. Sbb kalau dia happy, aku happy.

Tp boleh tercapai ke impian aku tu? Boleh jd kenyataan ke? Ape aku boleh buat utk pastikan bnde tu? Mampu ke aku buat pape?
Keputusannye bkn di tgn aku. Tp dkt sape? Hmm.

Sekian.
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November 27, 2011

Let's put the past behind.

I know I did so much wrong. I know my past is not that good. But I hope u can accept me. Because what I've done, is all behind me. Behind us. I was naïve. But now I'm different. Past is past. Let's not look at it. We're in the present, and I hope we're gonna be together in the future. Amin.

I really2 hope u can accept me for who I am now. Really2 sorry from the bottom of my heart my dear.
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November 18, 2011

Sesal sekarang tiada guna :|

Hmm. Dah hari baru. Mlm td dia ckp dia ok. Mmg aku slh dlm kes ni. Aku yg x reti sbr. Aku yg xphm. Kwn2 aku dah sedarkan aku dah. Skrg aku da dpt dah. Da fhm betul2. Tp aku rase dah terlmbt.
Aku dpt rase yg dia marah dgn aku. Dgn perangai bodoh aku. Aku dpt rase dia dah lain. Kalau x bnyk pun sikit. Tp aku rase bnyk je. Kalau boleh aku betul2 nk tau ape sbnrnye dlm hati dia skrg ni. Biar aku boleh perbetulkan keadaan. Aku tau aku x patut buat or ckp semua tu mlm td. Aku betul2 menyesal. Tp, menyesal skrg betul2 dah xde gunanya dah. Terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata?

Skrg ni aku betul2 berharap dia boleh maafkan aku. Aku dah fhm, and aku dah sedia. Sedia utk menunggu. Sbb skrg ni aku dlm situation yg dah ready and dah serious dgn relationship kita ni. So aku rase xde slhnye kalau menunggu lg. Its gonna be worth the wait. I'm sure of it.
I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
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I'm the one at fault. I'm sorry.

Maybe I was the one that's bad. Apit mengaku, apit gelojoh, apit x fhm situasi awak. Now I know. Now I understand. I'm really really sorry. I really hope you can forgive me. I really hope you can give me another chance.
I'm the one to blame, not you. I apologize for my behavior. I'm sorry love. I'm really2 sorry. :'(
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Fucking frustrated!

It was the perfect day. It didn't rain, which can be considered as a miracle for a rainy season like nowadays. We went for a movie, we had dinner, we went for a walk at i-city, and we had a ride, and that was when I popped the question. Which can be considered as the 3rd time. But this time was different. I really put a lot of effort this time. I planned it for quite a time. It weather was perfect, the time was perfect, everything was perfect. Or so I thot it was.
Was I expecting too much? Was I over confident? Was it a wrong time?
She said she wanted it, but she also wanted something else. Which was totally unacceptable. To me, it wasn't logical at all! What kind of reason was that? After I read the text she gave me this evening, I really2 thot that she was ready too. I was totally wrong.
From what I can conclude, from what she said, from her reasons, I can tell that she's not ready, and she wants to enjoy her life 1st. She wants it, I can tell, but not now. You shouldn't have asked the stupid question! "Would I be asking this question again in the future?" What kind of question is that?!?! I asked you with all my heart! And you expect me to do it again? That's something close to impossible. I really can't accept it. I'm really2 sorry. Maybe I'm gonna be the same, maybe I'm gonna be different. Only time will tell. Expect that u will get what u want, being single. All the best to you. I wish for your happiness. Amin.
Assalamualaikum.
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November 11, 2011

bkn nk ajak gaduh, cuma nk pertahankan diri

mcm ni  la kwn. kau ade care kau sendiri utk teruskan hidup, aku ade care aku sndri. bg kau, kau bleh letak tu semua kt blkg, buat mcm biase, mcm xde pape. tp bg aku plak, mmg aku ltk kt blkg bnde2 tu semua, dgn dia2 skali aku ltk kt blkg. kalau kau nk terima cara dia yg bodoh lg bangang tu (yg dah buat slh tp x reti nk phm), tu terpulang kt kau. tp aku xleh. mmg aku marah dgn dia dgn ape dia buat kt korg semua, tp hati aku tertutup kt dia lps ape dia buat kt aku. kalau kau sanggup kerja nk maafka dia je setiap kali dia buat slh yg dia x sedar, silakan. drpd aku tmbh dosa aku bermaki haun kt dia tu bila dtg bodoh dia, baik aku xyah berkwn ngan dia terus kn. xde la sakit ati aku nnt. lgpun aku x suka nk belakon2 lg dah dpn dia. so bek xyah jmpe dia kn.

satu aku nk terangkan, status aku tu utk jelaskan kenapa aku xnk jmpe korg pd mase tu. aku ade ckp2 ape2 selain tu ke? aku rase xde. kalau kau nk tau knape aku x reply msg kau sbb aku xtau nk reply ape. cube kau duduk kt tmpt aku. okay aku bg kau situasi k. aku demam, aku x kms beg lg utk balik esok, aku baru balik rumah kuar ngan family aku, aku pakse diri jgk utk drive n jmpe korg kt situ. dtg2, korg xde. dah xde, pulak tu, kuar ngan dia. pergh. mmg terbaik la kn. korg da tau yg aku nk dtg jmpe korg kn, at least bgtau la dulu kalau nk blah pun. lg satu aku sbnrnye kecik ati ngan kau. kau pnye marah kt aku truk sgt spai kau xnk maafkan aku. pastu tibe2 je kau ckp kau okay. pastu kau expect respon aku nk cm mane? ntahla kwn. seolah2 cm bila kau rasa kau nk, kau okay la. tu yg dpt aku rasekan. mmg aku yg slh pun. n lg skali, aku ntk maaf sgt2. mntk maaf ats kesalahan aku n ats perangai aku. aku sbnrnye nk smpn bnde ni. tp kau yg paksa aku keluarkan.
btw, jgn sekali2 kau samakan aku dgn dia okay. kau ckp aku mcm bdk kecik kn skrg ni. sukati kau la. even aku benci org ckp aku mcm bdk kecik, tp aku nk buat ape yg aku rase terbaik utk diri aku.

sekian.

November 9, 2011

Takfaham

Dulu, dia dibenci benci. Kemain beria lg semua org. Nyampah la ape la. Kutuk2 dia siap. Mmg patut pun. Ape yg dia buat dulu mmg teruk. Tp aku tgk skrg semua org bkn main lyn dia balik. Aku tgk semua mcm dah suka dia balik la konon2. Korg da maafkan dia ke? Korg bg dia peluang kedua?
Hm. Baguslah kalau mcm tu. Betapa mulianya korg.
Bg aku, aku mmg da xleh terima dia langsung. Yela. Aku dgr cerita dr semua pihak. So aku tau setiap taik yg dia buat kt setiap org. Termasuk ape yg dia buat kt aku. Aku tekad, aku ttp dgn keputusan aku. Dah xde lg dah kerak nasi. Aku mmg x hingin pun tgk muka dia. Peduli ape aku org nk ckp ape. Cuba pk balik ape yg dia dah buat? Mmg manusia berhak diberi peluang. Tp org mcm ni, bg brape bnyk pun belum tentu lg dia akan buat bnde yg betul. Lps ni kalau dia ade, jgn harap la aku nk ade jgk.

P/s : Kalau korg nk buang aku utk dia pun aku x kisah. Yg penting aku xnk ade kene mngene langsung dgn dia. FULLSTOP
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November 2, 2011

Hmph.

I know u're hiding something from me.
I can feel it.
I kinda don't like it.
But suit urself.
If this is how u want it to be, I'll just play along.
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