single

being single for quite a while has changed me. it changed the way i think about people. it changed the way how i react to something. and most importantly, it changed the way how i look at people. especially people that are also single. because while looking at people, i'm also searching. searching for someone that could fill in the blank. haha.

but now i know. it's not an easy thing to do. yes people might say there are many girls out there. but to find the right one, its nearly impossible.

my past lover. she was kinda perfect when i first knew her. but it happened too quick. and just as i thought, she was not meant for me. i have to admit i loved her so much at that time. it broke me. even seeing her now happily with her new lover. but that is the past now. nothing i can do about her.

i'm not saying i'm giving up on searching the right one. but its a tough journey. so i'll have to search slowly and thoroughly. i dont want the same thing to happen again. i dont want to be hurt like that again. but this search is tiring me. the more i search, the more types of people i'll find. sometimes weird, sometimes freakish, sometimes a lil bit over. i dont think that i'm being fussy. its just that everyone(including me), has the right to choose, to have a particular taste on their future lover, to have specific likings.

i'm not putting mine too high. i'm not looking only from the outside. this time, i want to find the perfect one. i want to get to know the person well. but for now, theres no candidates. yet.

so now, all i have is my friends. they're the place where i tell my stories. good or bad. happy or not. everything.

but as a normal human being,  i still need someone that is more than a friend. so being single, isn't that great actually for me, for the time being.